I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
