dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do herpes really smell.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
