it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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