we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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