Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize