I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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