I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
