the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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