my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
