do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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