We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
