Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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