so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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