Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
