it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
