from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
