Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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