he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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