I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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