I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
