It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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