UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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