pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
