His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
