You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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