I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
