wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
