just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
