HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
