addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
