Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
