I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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