so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So squirting runs in the family.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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