Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
