u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm like, not good at living.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
