I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
