here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
