so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
