It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We're too hungover to prance.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
