So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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