Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
