Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
