She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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