The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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