Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
