I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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