New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
