I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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