what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
