I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize