you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
