if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
