trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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