who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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