Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
