The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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