So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
