You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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