I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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